The only way

I’m always looking for some sort of answers to guide me in the right direction…. but then I just think fuck it! What for?

If I had the answers, what would I even do with them? Why do they even matter so much? Do they even matter at all?

I don’t think so.

Stop waiting for the right sign to come along and show you the way… go your own damn way!

Not everyone’s idea of happiness looks the same, so neither should the road to get there.

You will make mistakes, take wrong turns, have to take breaks & go at your own pace…

But trust that you will get there

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Breathe in

Breathe out

Let it go

Let it escape you

Don’t resist it

Don’t judge it

Don’t let it enter you again

Breathe in

Breathe out

Let it out

And let it be

Watch it leave you

Feel it escape you

Feel yourself

At ease

Breathe in

Breathe out

This is all it is

For you to be

As you are

And as you should be

Breathe in

Breathe out

❤️ RM

Every thing and Everything

Every thing happens for a reason

I adopted this belief a long time ago

A belief built on no logic, but hope

Hope, that no matter what happened to us, good or bad, this thing happened to lead us to our destiny

Hope and a positive mindset, were all I felt were necessary for freeing us from any thing

But what about everything?

I’d like to understand

What is the reason for our everything?

And

Is hope the answer to freeing ourselves from it?

❤️ RM

Making sense of it all

It’s hard to understand sometimes… one minute everything’s fine, and the next I’m on the verge of having a panic attack in the middle of the shopping centre.

It starts when I have to get dressed to go out for the day. I’m constantly telling myself “don’t wear that outfit, people will judge you, you’ll draw attention to yourself…” so I throw on the worst outfit in the hopes of not being looked at by anyone.

Then I leave the house and I feel as though I’m walking amongst some sort of zombie apocalypse, and I’m one of them, only we aren’t out to eat people, but to suck the life right out of our world.

As soon as I come into contact with a fellow zombie, (outfit of the day you failed me) my body shuts down. It starts fighting this internal battle with itself as one half of me tries so hard to run away, but the other half fights back and keeps me standing there, having the conversation with fellow zombie.

When I finally get some peace and quiet alone, I feel a wave of energy come over me and suddenly I can relax. The wave delivers a message to tell me “it’s okay to feel this way, you’re just different to most. Have little but give more – that’s how you’ll be free.”

Today I’m grateful for my anxiety as it’s given me the ability to see clearer and feel deeper. It’s shown me the world in a negative way to make me aware of what I don’t want or need.

Fighting this battle is giving me the courage to be the person I want to be in the kind of peaceful world I want to live in(free from zombies)! 😋

❤️ RM

For You

I never believed in love at first sight

I didn’t understand

How one could feel love for another

At an instant

With just a look

I didn’t know at first sight that I loved You – I didn’t even know You

But I did know

There was a possibility I’d fall in love with You

You saw me

You spoke to me

And then

You kissed me

Suddenly the possibility, became a desire to love You

A desire that was so simply fulfilled

Now I do believe

In love at first sight

As I felt it

With You

❤️ RM

The hidden answers

Are you like me & believe that our dreams are so much more than just dreams?

Whilst our body is peacefully resting, preparing itself for another day of operation… our mind awakens, and expresses itself in disguise through confusing an absurd scenarios.

Our dreams may seem irrelevant to our current life situation, as they are so ridiculous that those scenarios couldn’t possibly play out in our usual day-to-day…

But when we look further, in search for the meaning, what we find will usually be the answers to some of the questions only we can answer, but haven’t known how. In a strange way, these answers give us clarity and our life begins to make sense.

I had a moment in the shower this morning… as the first few drops of water poured out of the shower head and onto my face, I felt confused. I took my fingers and pressed them against my cheeks, slowly gliding them down towards my chin as I wasn’t completely convinced that my face was still there.

I realised in that moment that I had been taken back to the dream I had the night before, one I didn’t exactly remember upon waking up. A dream where I was aggressively peeling back the layers of skin off of my face, for no real reason.

“Skin represents who we are, and can symbolise the self from a sense of a surface awareness. Peeling back the skin is a way of expressing what is hiding underneath. It can symbolise personal transformation.”

If you’re looking for answers, look inside.

You have them all within you 🌟

❤️ RM

Triggered ⚠️

I claimed this as a positive space, but today I’m breaking the rules

We often avoid the truth sometimes because it’s ugly, it’s negative or it’s painful.. or all three!

We mask our true feelings to protect ourselves and others from being hurt. We unconsciously lie about who we really are and what we really want because we’re different… and we haven’t learnt how to accept that yet.

We are afraid of even the simplest of tasks, like going outside and having a conversation with another human, as we feel inadequate to perform normally and then guilty for the discomfort they experience as a result of being around us.

We are the reserved, often mistaken as rude and awkward individuals as we struggle to really open up and connect with others in a deep and meaningful way, yet those are the kind of relationships we really want.

We have too high expectations of ourselves that are almost impossible for anyone to live up too and we are so far from ever being “good enough” that we often quit before we even start.

We don’t know how to love ourselves freely without seeming modest and arrogant as we care too much about the opinions of others and even ourselves, yet we know that that’s exactly what’s needed to live peacefully ✌🏾

We want to take care of others and help change the world for the better but we can’t even take care of ourselves.

None of this is us though… it’s our illness. It’s our depression & anxiety.

The good news for us – we can heal 🧚‍♀️

I was almost ready to give up, but since writing this I instantly feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

I don’t mean to put it on yours, I just hope to be one of the people that can come out of all of this and pull others out with me, by being more open about these horrible illnesses.

If you’re lost, like me, know that you’re not alone and know that this isn’t your fault. Hold hope in your heart that you will find a way to live the life you dream of, the very life you deserve.

I pray for you to have that life one day soon.

❤️ RM